I feel pretty... Oh so pretty...

Ok so for the first time in a long time, I actually felt attractive last night. Even though my love was hanging over my jeans, which were sticking to my ever growing thighs. I felt pretty. I even caught a few glances my way, which made me feel good and yes they were by people my age. I know that i shouldn't like it when other guys look at me. But it helps me to know that I am marketable and that if my boyfriend ever reached his senses and found someone better that i have a chance to survive. I hate getting ready. I wish that there was a button that I could push to make myself look good. Like right now it takes me forever to get ready, OK like a half hour, but that is still way too long. I am not the typical girl who likes to take forever, it drives me insane. I think that sometimes i avoid the shower just so i don't have to spend time getting ready. My hair takes forever to dry and i would much rather just put it up, but i feel prettier with it down. It is not too long and not too thick, there just is a lot of it. I think I would rather throw myself on the floor than spend time getting ready. I guess that I am just way to lazy to be a pretty preppy girl. Oh well i will survive. Also i think it has to do with the fact that I have been dating my boyfriend for like 4 years so he knows what i look like and he says he doesn't care if i am in my pj's or just an old t-shirt. I wonder if he is lying about that and he wishes i would like nicer more often. Well, then my advice would be to tell me that I am beautiful more often when i do make an effort to look good. I only try to look good for you, so that you will be proud to be my boyfriend. I remember when i was thinner and prettier he used to seem so happy to be with me and that he felt lucky to be with someone like me. I am not exactly sure that he still feels that way. I hope he does because i still feel lucky to have him and such a good looking guy at that. I know that i am pretty much complaining, but isn't this the point of these things to get out my feelings. Sometimes looking at my emotions in written form helps me to realize when i am over-analyzing everything. Well, have to get back to getting ready. Blah...

Yankee Doodle...

Well,
I don't really know what to say, but maybe something will come out. My hips hurt like a bitch because the weather is changing and just because they are stupid. I hate how some people are so god-damn materialistic. No names to be said. But i wish that you would focus more on our small chats, cuddling time, and small kisses on the neck rather than all of your toys. I know that we are young, but sometimes I wonder if this is how it will always be. Have your fun, but dont forget that items may come and go be sure to hold onto what matters most to you. OK now that I have that out and about, I have so much hw to do and a fall schedule to figure out. How many classes do I take and will I have enough time to handle them all. Will i put myself into the same situation I am in now. I know that I need to take some time to try to work out some of problems. My titles for these blogs make no sense, but i dont know what im going to write about until my fingers hit the key board. Okay that is all for now, unless i decide to write more.

Jello

Do you ever just type because you really like the font that you are using and you love looking at the words appear on your screen . Well I am one of the weird people who do. School is stressing me the fuck out as usual. I really need to work on my whole complaining thing. Cause I do it way too much and it starting to affect my relationship with my boyfriend. That is another thing. Things arent too fantastic, I mean they could be alot worse. But it is like we have to have an all out crying and finger-pointing fest before anything gets really said or accomplished. I always feel better after we talk though, which is a good thing. He is amazing and he doesnt even realize it. Sometimes he hurts me so much and he doesnt even realize it. I am taking way too many credit hours right now and am just trying to do way too much. Like right now I should be working on my shit load of hw but im not. Well that is enough for now. Oh yeah I really like Jello. Hence my title today.