Oh how I hate Biochem. And well....

So I am in this class that is supposed to be blended chemistry and biology, first it is not, and second of all it sucks so hard. The teachers dont care. well except for the rookie this semester and then he gets mad at us for not giving a shit. I was like dude get off your high horse and realize no one wants to be here but you. Other news, my sister had second beautiful girl. She is amazing. My neice Kylie, is taking the new baby a little hard. Well she was the only one for 6 years, so i understand if she is having jealousy issues. So it is shitty, cause i feel like i deserve more attention from my boyfriend, but then i dont feel like i deserve any. I wish that he would just look at me and say you are so beautiful and that I am lucky to have you. Or even when we are with a group of people show me affection or say "Isnt she great." Doesnt have to be exact but something along those lines. I dont know but i feel that it is my fault that he doesnt act that way towards me. I mean if i was more special or whatever, then he would. Or if i was the right one for him all of these things would just flow out of his mouth. Dont get me wrong we have a great relationship but there are somethings that are hard. I hate bringing this subject up because it makes him feel bad, which in turn makes me feel bad. Then he feels like he doesnt do enough and then i go on a self pitty thing and say i dont deserve it anyway. It is a ridiculous cycle of blahhhhh. We have both been so stressed out this week and well for awhile, I wish there was something i could do for him, i feel so uneeded. He could totally function well without me and me without him is just hard and torture for me. I dont know i blow alot of things out of prroportion, but somethings hurt and you just deal with them for the sake of love and finding someone who could never be replaced. He is one of a kind and is truly amazing, i wish he believed that.